A Mindful Marriage

Each new year offers a chance to refocus from the busy holiday season and set goals for the new year. What do I want my life to look like when I wake up the morning of January 1, 2014? I have thought about this question a lot over the last week. The answer is that I love my life. Right now is a sweet and precious time with my family that I wish I could bottle and keep forever. I don’t have any major changes I want to happen this year. What I want is to cherish the right now and do my best to not get in the way of my own happiness. My focus this year is mindfulness. Throughout the rest of January I will share a few areas I am going to try and be more mindful. 

The most important relationship in my life is with my husband. That is the foundation of my family. Over the last year I put effort into treating my husband better. You will have to ask him if he noticed but I saw a positive change in our relationship. 

This year I want to focus on being mindful of how I interact with Christian. I want to pay attention while our relationship is strong and times are good. I believe that if I work each day to do my best as a wife then I am doing my job of maintaining a happy home. 

Here are a few ways to practice mindfulness in marriage: 

Complain less - It is not Christian’s job to listen to me gripe about my day or listen to my drama with others. Complaining just sets a negative tone and creates tension. Also, I will not complain about Christian. He works hard, loves our children, and provides a very nice life for us. I have zero reason to complain to him or about him. 

Respect him - Christian works hard to provide a great life for our family. I can support him and demonstrate my love by showing respect for his decisions and actions. I can do this by not second guessing him. I can do this by respecting our budget. And I can do this by respecting our relationship. 

Show love - Men receive love differently than women. Giving respect and appreciation through my words is important. But one big area many women struggle with is sex (yep, I said it). Have lots of sex with your husband. It is the number one piece of advice I have to offer for an easy way to make your man feel loved. This year I want to focus on showing Christian love. One way I plan to do this is by ironing his work clothes and making his lunch. I think these two small things will help make the start of his day easier and offer a reminder as he leaves our home each day that I love him. 

No criticism - My husband is a grown man. He does not need me to micromanage him. This will be the hardest one for me! Absolutely no criticism. If I have an issue that needs to be discussed then I need to be direct and say what I really mean. Criticism can create resentment that can lead to much bigger issues. I will focus on using kind words instead of nitpicking.

And fellas, if you want to be more mindful of your relationship with your wife you could offer to help her out around the house, keep the kids and give her time to herself, tell her that you love her more often, compliment her appearance, and tell her she is doing an awesome job running the home and raising the kids. 

Marriage is so important to a healthy and happy home. This year I plan to make mine a top priority. I am very blessed and lucky to have a solid marriage. It is my responsibility to see it stays that way. 

Stay tuned for a few more areas I want to bring focus to this year. 

A New Year and a Family Challenge

2012 was a fun year. Having little children is equal parts enchantment and frustration. These little guys keep us on our toes but watching them learn and grow is a true privilege.

I am excited for 2013. The new year always feels refreshing. The days grow longer, the house is cleared of holiday clutter and we all resume our regular routines.

We are starting our year off with a family challenge. A few weeks ago I read in the business section of the Denver Post (you know me and the newspaper...love it!) about how to be smart with money. One suggestion was to have a month each year that you do not eat out. I loved this idea. At the end of last year we got a little lazy at our house and ate out a bit more than I like. Not only is it good for the pocket book to eat at home and brown bag it, but it is also a way to start the year off with healthier eating habits.

Truth be told, I am horrible at anything that requires abstinence. Just the mention of a restriction creates craving. So...we have a few cheats. First, it is my month to host supper club so I get to eat out that night. Second, Christian usually goes to happy hour with work buddies once a week so that won't count. Also, any off-site work events like travel are void of this restriction. Otherwise, I am going to try and keep us eating at home this month.

I am sure I will bend the rules at some point because I lack discipline. Plus the first sign of a sick kid usually sends me running for the take-out menus. But I really am going to try. Especially since it is my idea.

So to recap. No eating out. This includes coffee, special treats, dine-in or take-out. Feel free to join us with this month's challenge.

Jack's 4th Birthday

Jack turned four the day after Christmas. We celebrated the big day with a Thomas the Train birthday party. Jack as a three-year-old was a challenge. He tested boundaries and threw fits the likes of which I had not seen from our sweet boy.

But three was also a big year. Jack started preschool. He is hilarious and fun. And kind and sensitive. I love that kid. Four is going to be amazing.

As is our tradition, we had a few questions for Jack.

What is your favorite color?
Green and blue and pink

What is your favorite food?
Mac-n-cheese and steak. (I don't think Jack has actually ever eaten steak)

What is your favorite toy?
Monster trucks

Who is your best friend?
Wynn and Libby

What is your favorite thing to do?
Play monster trucks in my room

What is your favorite game to play?
Soccer and hide-n-seek

What do you want to do when you grow up?
After we offered a few examples Jack said "monster truck driver. No, I want to be a motorcycle driver." Later when I repeated the question he said, "I want to do the money stuff." Then he looked at Christian and said, "I want to do what you do."

What are you most thankful for?
For all of my friends. I then said, "Does that include Gracie?" To which Jack shook his head no.

What is the best thing that happened to you this year?
My birthday party was fun. And the Monster Truck Jam

What do you like about being 4?
Listening

What a darn funny kid! Happy Birthday sweet Jack! You are my sunshine.

Gingerbread Party

Enjoy these few photos from Jack's preschool gingerbread party. Christian and Jack had fun making a fishing pond and skiing snowmen. 

Christmas Bread

As a child each Christmas my mom and I would make Jiffy mix banana bread to give to our neighbors. She and I would spend the Saturday before the holiday in the kitchen opening the little blue twenty-five cent boxes. We would add an egg, a bit of milk, stir and put into the greased bread pan. After the bread cooled we wrapped the loaf in plastic and put a bow on top. I was then sent out to deliver the bread to our neighbors.

We didn't have much but my mom always made sure I knew two things. One was how to give. The other was to be a grateful getter. These are lessons I haven't always practiced perfectly over the years but they are part of my core, my foundation.

Now that I have Jack and Grace watching my every move, I am responsible for passing along my mom's lessons. One tiny thing we did this year was make Christmas bread for a few of our neighbors. Jack and Grace helped crack eggs and stir batter. They licked spoons and munched on pecans.

We cooked our bread and waited for it to cool before wrapping it in plastic and delivering it to neighbors.

The lesson I want my children to have engrained in their hearts is that giving is not about the biggest or most expensive gift. A gift of time. A gift of love. That is what sharing is about. And I want them to receive the simple gifts with grace and joy. To learn to appreciate someone thinking of them and sending a blessing their way.

Here is Christian's favorite holiday bread recipe. A recipe his mother, Catherine Anne, made for their childhood holiday celebrations. This is now a part of our children's holiday memories. Plus this bread is crazy delicious.

Orange Cranberry Nut Mini Bread Loaves

Grease and flour 3 mini loaf pans (3 x 5 3/4 inch)

Ingredients:
1 3/4 cups unsifted flour
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/3 cup cold butter
1 teaspoon grated orange zest
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons orange juice
1 egg beaten
1 cup cranberries halved or quartered (Do not use a food processor! You want them barely chopped)
1/2 cup chopped pecans

Stir together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Using a pastry cutter, cut butter into the flour mixture.
Combine the orange zest, juice, and egg. Add egg mixture to the flour mixture all at once. Stir just until dry ingredients are moistened. Mix in cranberries and pecans.
Spoon batter into pans. Bake at 375 degrees for 40 minutes. Cool loaves in pans for 10 minutes. Remove from pans and cool on a wire rack. Wrap and refrigerate overnight before slicing. "If you can!" (Anne's note on the recipe that makes me smile.)

Here's wishing you all the joy of simple gifts this holiday season. Hug your babies and be grateful for this beautiful life.