A New Year

First, thank you all for your prayers. Grace's doctor's appointment that was originally planned for today will actually be next Tuesday, December 6. We are hoping she will move to the brace only at night but know that other options are on the table depending on the x-rays. I will update on Grace next week.

So today is my Birthday. It has been a happy day. Having small children around makes all special days even more joyous. I mean look at these faces.

What a year! A new person was born. My toddler became a kid. I barely slept. I cried and worried and prayed. But most of all I made it and am better for it.

One big thing that happened for me personally this year was a "smack in the face" self-awareness journey. I grew up this year in ways I didn't even realize I needed to grow. But the big secret is that I am happier than I have ever been. I see the beauty in my life. And while I see my many shortcomings more clearly I also see that how I approach each day is my choice.

My goal for this year is to be my best self. I know that sounds all self-righteous and dramatic but I don't mean it that way. I just want to be filled with joy. I have spent many years making decisions based on my insecurities and trying to please people who likely weren't even concerned with me. So when I say my best self I mean I want to live my life without the burden of worrying what others think, but instead make the best effort to be kind, to give back, to think good thoughts, to not pass judgement, to not gossip, to not relish the drama that so easily invades female relationships. I want to be free and good and just. A lofty goal I know but we only have one life and I think it is time to start doing this one better.

So as Jack would say, Happy Dirthday to Momma. It is a new year for me and I am counting on it to be a good one.