Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The First Last Day of School

Jack's last day of preschool for the year was last week. I am happy to have him home for the summer. Surprisingly, I am not a bit concerned with Jack's academic development. Now, don't be judging me! I do believe education is important. I am just not worried about it at age four. Not one darn bit.

Yet, Jack learned a lot this year. He knows his letters and lots of numbers and most of the months and days of the week. He learned to deal with kids that hit and even started to hit others. Preschool brought home new behavioral issues and humor filled with poops and toots.

For me, I just want time to slow down. I don't want him to grow up so quickly. I am happy he still wants me to carry him down the stairs. That if my hair is up when I put him to bed, he asks me to take it down so that he can touch it while we do "jokes and kidding". I love that he likes to cuddle on the couch in the morning and my kisses still fix most of his booboos.

Jack's first year of school was interesting. I learned that I stink at school projects and being on top of what to bring and when to bring it. So much work for the mamas! I learned that when I hear about another kid knocking Jack into a table that a Mama Bear instinct kicks in that makes me want to kick butt. I learned that I am much more concerned with Jack's character and protecting his innocence than I am his formal educational achievements. Although, I am not sure I would have guessed any of this about myself.

Jack made his first school friends this year. His first friends that weren't influenced by my social circles. They are funny to watch, chatting before school. Sharing information like some dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs. And Spiderman can climb up walls. A tiny picture inside the four-year-old boy mind. So sweet. So small. Yet growing up more everyday.

I ran across this blog yesterday about a mom watching her oldest turn 18, ready to head out from home. I can't even imagine a life without little shoes, spilled milk, Matchbox cars, and blond hair floating through my days.

I had no idea having kids would be such a mix of intense frustration and overwhelming love. Can I stop the clock? Can I just do this year over again instead of time passing to the next?

My sweet boy finished his first year of school. I love this little sugar bean. He is my heart. Oh the places you will go little man. Oh the places you will go.

Monday, May 13, 2013

An Ocean View

I love the ocean.

I am humbled standing in the sand looking out. So small and insignificant. A freeing thought. I am just a speck. Wading in the water feels like a baptism. Wash away the stress. Wash away the doubt. Just breathing sea air. Watching my children discover the magnitude of the waves. Seeing them laugh. Loving their simple smiles at warmth and sunshine. I watched them fall in love.