Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Blessed this Christmas

Yesterday as I drove Grace to her orthopedic appointment tears welled up in my eyes. Hoping for the best but prepared for the worst, I carried a load of anxiety. You could feel the tension in the air. I knew tears were about to fall but I needed to be strong. Whenever I am overly weak in a moment where strength is required, I think of the saying, "put on your big girl panties." This always makes me smile because I think of putting on one of those big pairs of satin undies that go up to your bellybutton that I am sure all of our grandmothers wore when we were kids. The thought helped dry my wet eyes but I needed more. I could not cry in front of Grace's surgeon again. And so I started to pray and this is what I said to God.

Dear God, you have shown me so much grace and I am grateful. I know you have already raised me from ashes. You have given me a life of plenty, of more than I could have ever hoped for. I know I don't deserve to ask for anything ever again. I know. And I know that my sweet girl is lucky. She was born into a place where she is safe and loved and the world is hers for the taking. You have given her so much. We are thankful. Lord, I am grateful and I know our one problem is so small compared to what so many other children and mothers face. I know. Grace has bad hips and we have access to the best care and money to pay for that care while there are mothers in this world with perfectly healthy babies that die because they do not have food or basic medicine. I know. So I come humbly God before you to ask for your favor to heal my sweet girl's hips. If that is not the case Lord, help us to have peaceful hearts and strength as we move through the next few hours and months. Thank you God and help me to be a strong mama today. Amen.

I have said many prayers since this journey started with Grace but none quite so truthful as the one I said yesterday. Christian arrived at the appointment as Grace and I were walking in and together we waited, took x-rays with a screaming Grace, and waited some more.

Finally our surgeon came in with a smile and told us that the x-rays looked great. Grace's hips look like normal hips. She can be out of the brace during waking hours and only needs to wear the brace at night and during naps. We hugged Grace, we kissed each other, we smiled and we were thankful.

As we sat down to dinner an hour later with our little family all in our chairs in our breakfast nook, we took a moment to thank God for this blessing. Thank you God for showing Grace your favor. We are grateful.

Our journey with the hips doesn't end here. In three months we return for additional x-rays and discussion about next steps. We will return for check-ups until Grace stops growing. Depending on Grace's growth and progress out of the brace we may still have surgeries to face. Regardless, we are going to turn our faces to the sun and move forward.

Today Grace has been trying to crawl. She is managing to move herself across the room and even rolled over from her back to her tummy for the first time in her life. We are so excited to see her develop and learn. We are thankful and happy and blessed.

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