Wednesday, December 18, 2013

It Isn't About Supermom

I read an article today titled, "Killing Off Supermom." I was all "sing it sister" and "amen" and then I went upstairs and took a shower and something occurred to me. Something I have been ruminating on for awhile now.

A month or so ago I posted a few articles on Facebook about women not judging each other. A few weeks later my husband and I were talking and he suggested that us ladies are now metajudging. I think that is geek speak for saying that we are now judging each other for judging each other. And he is right.

After reading that article today it all came together for me. It isn't about supermom. So maybe we should just get off her back. If a woman manages to do crafts, hold down a full-time job, keep a spotless house, have a rocking body, wear the trendiest fashion and have well behaved children; who am I to criticize. Why do I feel the need to say, "she must have help" or "she can't possible really be happy." Seriously? Maybe she is totally happy.

The bottom line is that it isn't my business how she does it or even if she does it. And for me this is the big lesson here. The one thing all of the not judging each other articles are missing. Wait for it...supermom isn't making you feel bad. Nope. If you believe supermom (or who you determine to be supermom because I bet she doesn't actually call herself that) is making you feel bad then you need to look in the mirror.

Whomever she is for you, if your supermom friend (or enemy) gained twenty pounds, started dressing her kids in dirty clothes and feeding them Kit-Kats for dinner. If she never made another craft or cleaned another toilet; you would not feel better about yourself.

We have to determine what the standard is for our families and our lives. If Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or other people's blogs make you feel less than then you need to delete your accounts and stop looking at what other people are doing.

This message from Andy Stanley hit home for me. It is the Future Family series. His message titled Common Cause  hit the nail on the head. He said based on verses from the book of James that any conflict, whether with husband, child, friend, co-workers, is always about us. Us! We need to stop and ask, "where am I part of the problem." We need to say, "what do I want that I am not getting." And in doing so we then see that the other person being different will not make us happy.

And this is true for your perceived Supermom. What is your standard for yourself and your family? Isn't that what we want to demonstrate for our children? That who they are and how they feel about themselves should not be determined by another.

So ladies, instead of tearing down Supermom. Instead of metajudging. Maybe we should just do our personal best. And some days that best may be cereal for dinner and snuggling down in front of the television for seven hours with our kids.

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