Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The Ugly of Getting Old

A few years ago I noticed this white hair in my nose. My nose of all places! Every single time it grows back I get out the tweezers and pluck it. Every single time it brings tears to my eyes because it hurts. I don't think we are meant to pluck nose hairs.

After birthing children, I began to notice (or have pointed out for me) my body aging. It isn't pretty. I know we live in an enlightened age where we should be able to grow old gracefully. Um…it doesn't seem so graceful to me. Plus, I am not ready to be old. I don't feel old and I don't want to look old either.

After Grace was born everything in my body changed. I am not sure if it was hormones, stress or just years passing. Suddenly old lady stuff started happening. First this weird thing popped up on my neck. I asked my doctor about it and she told me it is called a skin tag. Ehew! I think it was my first official old lady moment.

I do understand that by today's standards 36 is young; however, a few decades ago it wasn't really considered that young. When my mom was my age she had teenagers not toddlers.

Another sobering moment occurred at the salon. I needed my eyebrows waxed because even though I had just birthed my second child, I did not want caterpillars on my face. I was laying on the waxing table enjoying my moment of relaxation when the lady asked if I wanted my lip waxed. I told her no. Then she tugged at my upper lip hair and said, "I make you beautiful." As my cheeks flushed red, I told her to go ahead and wax it. Holy cow, I thought child birth and plucking nose hairs hurt, but the lip wax may take the cake.

I came home with my ego badly bruised and my husband asked what was wrong with my face. Now at my house we do not share everything. Doors are closed when we poop. I never ever talked to my husband about facial hair. Other than labor where he had to help me pee, we just don't talk about or share our gross stuff. So humiliated and dejected I had to tell him about the lip waxing.

Shortly thereafter, I started noticing gray hairs on my head. I just kept pulling them out. The result was a few months later these short wiry gray hairs popping up all over the top of my head. Now I just let them grow in.

Yes, there is hair color and waxing and even doctors to remove gross skin stuff, but I still know it exists. Old age is starting to creep in and it isn't pretty.

The good news is that the thirties are my best decade yet. The pressure to be pretty and perfect and driven and delightful that I felt in my twenties is gone. I accept myself more, wrinkles and all.

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